Early one Saturday morning I received a telephone call from my sister in England informing me that mum was not her usual self but there was nothing to worry about. Actually immediately before departing for Papua New Guinea my wife and I had visited mum and she insisted that if anything happened to her we were not under any circumstances to grieve or return home and insisted that we say our ‘Good-byes’ there and then, which is exactly what we did. Mum was quite pragmatic and certainly not afraid of death insisting that what remained would simply be her earthly body subject to decay but she, her spirit, would be with the Lord, something she considered would be far better. However, during the day my wife and I decided that I should return home as we both felt her departure from this life was quite possibly not too far distant, after all she was then 94 years old although in relatively good health.
Bearing in mind that we were living in the highlands of PNG and the only way out was by means of a small aircraft to the capital, Port Moresby, then by an Air New Guinea flight to Sydney, Australia followed by a long haul Qantas flight to Heathrow, England, the chances of organising the trip and obtaining tickets until later the following week were pretty slim. In the event all the arrangements were made within a few hours for me to depart first thing on the Monday morning with only a matter of an hour or so between each leg of the journey.
Upon arrival at Heathrow airport I was met by a friend of ours who immediately drove me home, a distance of some 120 miles. It was late morning when I arrived and mum was still in bed but after a short while I asked if she would like to meet the friend who had driven me from London. Her immediate remark after greeting her was, “He [meaning me] has come to see me die”! Imagine the lump that arose in my throat upon hearing this, but here was a elderly lady who was as ‘Bright as a Button’ and eager to engage in conversation about any topic one wished to suggest.
The following afternoon I asked my sister if anyone had ‘sat-up’ with mum at night to which she replied, “No, there has not been a need to do so”. It was then that I had the distinct impression that mum would depart this life very early the following morning so I immediately informed my sister that I would sit with her all night.
At around four o’clock, mum suddenly awoke and cried out: “Oh, there must be a hold-up, they should have taken me by now”, then drifted off to sleep again. At around six my sister entered the room and together we sat, my sister on one side of the bed and me on the other when mum suddenly sat bolt upright, arms raised and eyes gazing upward. Moments later, her lifeless body slumped back to its bed.
Mum had no fear of death, why should she, she firmly believed in a risen Christ as her Lord and Saviour.
Psalm 23 verse 4:
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me … .
1 Corinthians 15 verse 55:
“Where, O death, is your victory? Where O death, is your sting?
I don’t think I will ever forget the way mum departed this life so much so that at the time I resolved that I too would make it my aim to ‘finish well’.
Although my family were still members of the exclusive brethren many splits had taken place and the particular group they now belonged to held to a much less hard-line ‘doctrine of separation’ than previous groups. This meant that I was not only allowed to attend mums funeral but actually bear the coffin containing the earthly remains of my mum to its resting place awaiting the resurrection. For me this was an immense privilege. Mum died in 1994.
My father died in 1968. I had a telephone call from my mother to say that he was in hospital having respite care but was quite ill and not expected to live. I immediately drove some 30 miles or so to meet her in the hospital car park but was too late; he had departed this life. On this occasion I was not allowed to attend the funeral service and although I did attend the actual burial I was not allowed to approach the graveside but to stand some 50 or so yards away. Some six years earlier when my grandmother died I was not even informed.
The reason for all this was that some years previously I had been ‘Withdrawn’ from or excommunicated simply because I could not agree with the whole question of the ‘Doctrine of Separation’ This is something that I will address in ‘Musing’.
However, I would say that although in many ways this doctrine which separated me from family members and many friends for many years, at no point was I ever bitter, sad yes, but not bitter and I can only credit the Lord for this.
Peace ⇒